This has been one hectic week. Poor Charlie finally got circumcised, which was HORRIBLE! There's a reason why they do that in the hospital. Get it over with early. Unfortunately, he was 3 weeks old, and it was rough. This was the one thing I was terrified about with having a boy. The nice doctor came in and explained everything to me (which I don't know if that was a good idea), and then took him with her. They scheduled this over their usual lunch hour, so we were the only people in the office. So of course when I hear a baby screaming down the hall, I know it's him. All I could do is just cry and cry. I HATE having my babies hurt. I know this is in his best interest, and it will prevent a lot of negative things in the future. I just hated him being in pain. It only took about 15 minutes and the nurse brought him back in. Now was the hard part. We had to sit and wait about 45 minutes, and wait for them to come back in to check his diaper. Thank goodness he's a good eater. I was able to nurse him (almost the entire time) and it soothed him. Needless to say, that was pretty much the worst day of his life :-(
So, this was also my first full week of being home by myself with the kiddos. It went okay. I'm having a hard time with Haley. She's doing great, but she's used to my 100% attention on her. Add in the 115 degree heat (leaving us inside), and she got a little stir crazy. There's nothing I want more in the world than for my kids to feel my love. And I'm terrified I'm not giving Haley enough right now. She's so smart, and I would hate for her to revert due to my lack of stimulation. Add in my need to be Super Mom, and it was kind of a rough week.
Since I stay home, I feel like I need to do everything. Steve works so hard, and he doesn't need to worry about laundry, dishes, or paying bills when he gets home. So, I've been pushing myself to get everything done. If I'm not feeding kids, changing diapers, or keeping Haley entertained...I'm cleaning. It's exhausting. I dont want to stop, because I don't want the clutter to become overwhelming. Unfortunatley, this is causing me to freak out. I haven't slept more than 5 hours/night, sat for more than 30 minutes, or ate breakfast & lunch in 3 weeks. I guess the weight loss is a perk right now. lol.
I just really need to work out a routine. Change is really hard for me, and that was the best part about Haley. She was SOOO predictable, and this baby isn't. Now, don't get me wrong...for a 3 week old baby, he's GREAT! I know exactly when he's going to wake up at night, and I can tell why he's crying each time. But, I can't wait to get him on a nap/lunch/play schedule.
I LOVE my kids and my family. Every day I remind myself how extremely lucky I am to have such beautiful, smart, and healthy children. I just need to remember that it's not about the destination...it's the drive. I need to enjoy every minute of each of them, because before I know it...they'll be grown. :-(
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